


Incident Reports

by johnny__guitar



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 23:10:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10501389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnny__guitar/pseuds/johnny__guitar
Summary: A series of reports about the shenanigans that happened during the old days of Overwatch.





	

Just an idea I had. Probably some shenanigans went on at the watchpoints, so here we go. Not sure if I'll do more of these. This comes from an idea on a discord server I'm on.

* * *

 

**Incident Report**

 

 **Reporting officer:** Cpt. Ana Amari

 **Date:** 3/7/2045

 **Location:** Watchpoint Zurich

 

**Sequence of events:**

_8:30 pm, 3/6/2045:_ Informed of surprise base inspection from UN, to take place the following morning at 9:30 am. As my 10 year old daughter was visiting on base at the time, I warned Fareeha to stay out of trouble before and during inspection.

 _4:25 am, 3/7/2045:_ All personnel on base is suddenly and rudely awoken by loud music from base intercom systems. No one has been informed of this ahead of time.

 _4:26 am:_ Music is identified as “What's New Pussycat.” Communications personnel attempts to shut off system, with limited success.

 _4:28 am:_ Song ends, intercom goes silent. General sigh of relief, most attempt to go back to sleep.

 _4:29 am:_ Song restarts. Groan of annoyance echoes through base. Current watch rotation begins search for empty bunks to explain who is behind this.

 _4:35 am:_ Song has ended and restarted 4 times now. Commanding officers on base (Stk. Commander Morrison, Commander Reyes, and myself) meet in conference room to figure out what's happening. General consensus is anger and confusion. Reyes is especially not pleased, has sworn vengeance on whoever is doing this.

 _4:37 am:_ Song restarts again. Commander Reyes swears vigorously, punches nearest wall. Stk. Commander Morrison finds this wildly amusing, for some reason.

 _4:39 am:_ Song restarts, Reyes screams in fury. Morrison does not seem to be capable of stopping laughing at this point. Guard enters room, reports no sign of one Lt. Reinhardt Wilhelm. 30 seconds pass, second guard enters, reports no sign of my daughter. The three of us have an immediate realization of what is happening.

 _4:41 am:_ Song ends. Silence for a few seconds, then a completely new song, now identified as “It's Not Unusual” begins. Reyes nearly weeps with joy, which is more emotion than I've seen from him in years. According to other officers, the reaction of the rest of the base was similar. Communications personnel reports locked control room. Behind door, raucous laughter can be heard. Presumably, Lt. Wilhelm and my daughter have been found.

 _4:42 am:_ Morrison, Reyes, and myself head towards this locked control room, accompanied by multiple disgruntled soldiers. Laughter heard from inside is confirmed as Wilhelm’s. Reyes punches the door multiple times.

 _4:43 am:_ “It's Not Unusual” ends. Silence for a few seconds, then “What's New Pussycat” starts again. Reyes completely loses it, going off on a tirade in a mixture of English and Spanish, mainly consisting of the words “Reinhardt”, “murder”, “death”, and various curses. Morrison has not stopped laughing. I myself am trying not to grin. Laughter behind door grows even louder.

 _4:50 am:_ After minutes of screaming in anger and swearing death on the two, someone brings the keys to the control room. Once the door is open, we find Reinhardt and Fareeha, both in office chairs, laughing their heads off. An ancient-looking MP3 player, presumably Reinhardt's, sits on the desk, still playing “What's New Pussycat.” Reyes lunges for the MP3 player, clearly trying to snap it in his bare hands. Silence is finally restored, base returns to sleep.

 _9:30 am:_ The worst inspection in the history of Overwatch takes place. The official sent by the UN now is very curious as to why we all seem mad today. I couldn't bring myself to explain, or to explain why Reyes went through 4 cups of coffee during inspection.

 

**Casualty report:**

One door needs repairs, due to Commander Reyes trying to break it down. Reyes' knuckles are also slightly bruised

 

**Actions taken:**

_Lt. Reinhardt Wilhelm:_ Lectured for 20 minutes by all 3 commanders about inspection etiquette, and corrupting my daughter. Assigned to base cleaning duty for the next month. Ordered to stay as far away from Commander Reyes as possible for the foreseeable future.

 _Fareeha Amari:_ Father was informed of her actions, and is severely disappointed. Child received a very long lecture on why not to anger a base full of special operations soldiers at 4 in the morning, and is now not allowed to do anything with Reinhardt without at least one other person around.


End file.
